Romance Novels - 21st Century Feminist Fiction

(Recently had a conversation with someone who had a very negative view of the Romance genre. This person also believes that feminism is nothing more than a gender-reversed misogyny, which is a very incorrect idea. Feminism is nothing of the sort. No wonder their view of Romance was so skewed.)

In the 21st Century, the genre of Romance is being reclassified as feminist fiction. Refs: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7  I say it's about time.

Here's why:

1. Our Heroine is the center of the story. It is her story. It's about what her dreams are, her goals, her desires. What she wants is important. Very important.
2. It's about respect. In the end, Our Heroine's choice are respected by Our Hero and others. She's not shamed or mocked for her pro-activity. In fact, she's often encouraged and when she's successful, she's lauded.
3. It's okay for Our Heroine to have desires. She is not chastised or shunned for having yearnings in her heart (or other places). Let her heart flutter, let her loins burn, let her indulge in deep, passionate kisses. It's okay.
4. Success happens. One of the main qualifiers of Romance is the HEA (Happily Ever After). But it's not just limited to her romantic love life. Our Heroine also experiences success in business, in social circles, in her art, her hobbies and her goals. She is shown that no matter what she sets out to achieve, women's success is possible and commonplace.
5. Win-Win situation. See, Our Hero gets success as well. Like Our Heroine, he also gets love, respect, success and happiness. He earns the trust of  a woman, and that is a very big thing. Also, he's placed in an environment where it's safe for him to express himself, be emotional, admit weakness and not be ridiculed. Not enough men in real life get that luxury.

The world is a big, scary place full of problems that haven't been solved yet. Romance gives us a chance to escape that world and daydream about a better one of happiness and love and success. Feminism is about achieving those goals in real life and while we have a long way to go, at least the journey has started.

Go read a romance book or ten. You'll be glad you did.

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Her Grace embraces idealism for its positive message.

Finding the Strong Place

I'm religious. I make no secret of it, and I openly practice my faith. My faith and the beliefs I learn keep me strong in a drifting world. I'm glad I have this pillar of strength to cling to when the current fights against me.

This week I was saddened to hear about some (more) bad things happening to women (women-I-know and women-who-know-women-I-know).  One of the things that has saddened me is hearing about how prevalent sexual harassment is in Academia. Yes, it is prevalent. I've been a victim of harassment in academia during my undergrad studies. In fact, now that I think about it, I can't name a woman of my acquaintance who has ever said she's never been harassed. That's a sad symptom of a degenerate world.

One issue from Berkeley came to light this week about a supervising professor getting his widdle wrist slapped after four courageous women came forth about his ill treatment of them. Berkeley's response was not sufficient, according to the scientific community at large. However, before you go off and tar Berkeley with the yellow paintbrush of cowardice, please give them some credit for doing something, even if they are woefully out of practice in dealing with such things.

Much discussion online ensued.

In Academia, this sort of behaviour, for the most part, is ignored or even flipped against the victims. I hope it leads to more universities having the courage to call their harassers on their bad behaviour. The more they practice these actions, the better at them they will become.

I believe that leaving these harassers unchecked does more harm than good to our science communities. They chase away dozens if not hundreds of potentially strong talent. Those few who remain are hampered because they spend too much energy fighting harassment--energy that could be put to better use doing science.

If the universities think they are doing the better thing by not alienating their champion researchers, they are not. The scientific value of one sexual harasser, no matter how talented, will never outweigh the collective scientific value of all the victims he hampers or chases away. Never.

Part of the perpetual discussions on these and other issues, which always comes out when something like this happens, is how poorly women are still treated, even after two hundred years of feminism.

Yet women still stand up and say something, even when they are threatened with rape, violence and death.

A friend shared a scripture with me for ponderizing this week. It seemed very apt for those who dare to stand for righteousness in a world that would tear them down: Job 27: 5 - God forbid that I should justify you; til I die I will not remove mine integrity from me.

A few days ago I spent the weekend enjoying General Conference at church. One of the speakers, Russell M Nelson, gave a beautiful talk entitled, "A Plea to my Sisters"--"We need your strength, your conversion, your conviction, your ability to lead, your wisdom, and your voices."

How rare it is in today's world to hear such a powerful message from good men to women. Elder Nelson also quoted other men who share this same message: "President Packer declared, 'We need women who are organized and women who can organize. We need women with executive ability who can plan and direct and administer; women who can teach, women who can speak out. …

“We need women with the gift of discernment who can view the trends in the world and detect those that, however popular, are shallow or dangerous.'”

It is good to hear men, powerful men--leaders in their communities, utter these words in places where millions can hear them.

I wish more men would say such things more often. Men listen to other men. Until men, on the whole, learn to value and listen to women, perhaps they will listen to men like these.

The world can only be better for it.

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Her Grace is glad stuff like this gets preached openly in her faith.

Have you read Kate Mayo's article "Dear Columnists, Romance Fiction is not Your Bitch"?  If not, go do so now. I'll wait.

...

Okay, welcome back.  Interesting, n'est ce pas?  Essentially, the article is about how Romance Fiction and Feminism can co-exist.

One line in particular struck me as most apt: "...there is no shame or stigma in enjoying a book in which a woman's happiness is the measure of its success."

Wow. How often do you hear that about anything else?  And isn't that a powerfully Feminist statement?

Now, I can understand how some schools of Feminist Thought (frex, much of Second Wave Feminisim) can wish to decry the thought that a woman can derive happiness from the romantic attentions of a man (after all, she should be responsible for her own happiness and not depend on a man, goes the line).

But the point of Romance Fiction is not that a woman can only be happy if she has a man in her life, but that a woman can derive happiness from a loving, supporting relationship with another human being.

(Feminism shoots itself in the foot if its promotion of woman is only at the price of denigrating man.  It really should be about promoting human beings regardless of gender, and that no one gender is less than another.)

Much fiction (with the exception of the literary classics you had to read in high school [Her Grace says with her tongue in her cheek]) is about humans seeking happiness.

Chick Lit covers the gamut from Women and Shoes, Women and Shopping to Women and Careers, Women and Family. 

Much contemporary literature serves with Self-Discovery and Self-Identity, especially with who and what the main character interacts with.  Eat, Pray, Love, anyone?

Take Sex and the City.  Was it really about four women seeking sex (and ultimately relationships with men), or was it about four friends on their journey to discover what friendship really means? 

So what if Romance's particular subject matter is about romantic love?  Does that make it anti-feminist?  

Absolutely not.  If it were about anti-feminism, the woman's feelings would not matter. Her goals, her desires, her dreams would be worth nothing.  She'd be nothing more than a convenient hole for some man to park his dick, and then forgotten, until it was dinner time.  As any Romance reader will tell you, that is soooo NOT how it happens in a Romance novel!

In a Romance novel, Our Heroine's dreams, her desires, her goals--everything she wishes for, hopes for--is The Most Important Thing.  By the end of the novel, Our Hero understands and respects that.

That is a positive feminist message.  That is why Romance Fiction and Feminism can exist side-by-side.

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Her Grace's foremothers were feminists--college-attenders, political activists, pioneers, self-supporting, loving, hard-working, courageous women.
Also, she can't wait for you to read her novel "Her Endearing Young Charms", where, when it looks like Our Hero can't be there for her, she pulls up her socks and sets off to take care of matters on her own. Why should her happiness depend purely on the whims of someone else?

A Feminist Rant

It's TASE day, but I'm not gonna talk. I'm gonna rant.  I'm gonna rant because I adhere to the principle that should a feminist see injustice, she must speak up.

I'm a feminist.  That should not be a surprise.

I tend to follow the First Wave Feminist tradition of the 19th Century, the same tradition that spawned Bluestockings and Suffragettes.  This is because my great-great grandmothers were feminists, and many of the men they associated with supported their feminist sensibilities.

My feminist tradition believes thus:

• The liberation of everyone, female and male from unjust and outdated expectations. (Frex, they support a man's freedom of choice to be a stay-at-home dad, if he should so choose.)
• A woman's right to education.
• A woman's right to a job suitable to her education, skills and life choices, and to be paid as much as a man would be.
• A woman's right to independence.
• A woman's right to develop herself in every way so she can be a strong, supportive partner in an interdependence relationship.

...And the list goes on.  My brand of feminism is not the man-hating flavour so often found in Second Wave Feminism (they scare me a bit).  This is important for me to note here, because not everyone realises there are different flavours of feminism.  Yes, many of us like men, and wish them the best.
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Last week I had an encounter with an anti-feminist man.  This man has a hatred towards his grandson's chosen wife.  We're talking a bitter, red-raged, nasty, pull-out-his-hair solid going-to-hell hatred.

Why?  Because she isn't a weak and submissive girl who should give up all her own traditions and beliefs and adhere strictly to his (the grandfather's).  

Essentially, his anger is a long-standing temper tantrum because he's not getting his own way.   (In his defence, he has had a hard couple of years with some really bad Life Events throwing a spanner in his works.  That sort of thing can make the nobler choices harder.)  But honestly, I think he needs to get over his anger and forgive.

The grandson's wife is a strong, smart, centered, spiritual woman I am proud to call a friend.  Ever since the grandson and she met about four years ago, she has been nothing but good for him.  She's encouraged and supported him in making the best choices--choices the grandfather generally supports on the whole (in theory).

But will he look at that and forgive the traits that make her who she is?  No.  Instead, he chooses to dwell on the negative.  He even complained about how the napkins were done at the wedding.  I kid you not. He could not be happy about a single thing that day, despite the fact that the Most Important Part was done perfectly. (The napkins?  Honestly!)

I called him on it later, and ended up listening to a diatribe of him using my beloved religion as a thinly-veiled twisted justification on male superiority and female inferiority.  (Just for the record, my religion is chock full of feminism from its inception several hundred years ago. Some time I shall have to tell you beautiful stories of strong, confident women who have changed the world.)

The scariest bit?  HE HONESTLY BELIEVES THIS IS HOW IT SHOULD BE.

So, I came across him again last week, as I inevitably do, being good friends with the newest generation of this family. He was backbiting his grandson's chosen wife, saying how he wanted to destroy her, because he's dead set that she's going to "completely ruin" his grandson.

Nothing is further than the truth.  All you have to do is look into the grandson's eyes to realise he's a full-grown man who is very content with his choice of bride.  She's brought out the best in him, I opine.

Anyhow, like any good feminist, I spoke up at this rather unfair treatment of a woman who was not currently there to defend herself.

And boy, did I get an earful, not only of her crimes, but of MINE.  He's fully convinced that I'm in league with the Anti-Christ, how my beliefs go against the Church, that I'm out to destroy every man I come across and a whole lot of other blatant untruths.

Will I ever be able to convince him to change his views?  No, no matter how much I wish I could.

But will I stop speaking up?   Never.
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Any time I have an experience that makes me consciously think about my feminist values, it makes me reflect on many things, including my portrayal of women and men in my fiction.

I write fantasy, and I write historical.  In my fantasy novels I tend to stay away from gender inequality (and racial inequality, now that I think about it).  When people are at odds, it is because of who the individuals are, and not any particular stereotypes (that I am aware of.  I'm not a hundred percent sure of this, because prejudice is often unconscious).

I write a lot of Regency Romance.  Was there gender inequality during the Regency?  Boy, was there! It was so bad, First Wave Feminism couldn't help but be born.

A lot of that inequality creates some good Conflict in a story (such as the title and inheritance of a man goes to another male heir, and not to his daughters, should he have no son--Pride and Prejudice, anyone?).   Yet when it comes to the individual character development and interrelationship between Our Hero and Our Heroine, I find I must steer well clear of the accepted gender roles of the day.

I still must keep some elements (such as a father opening his daughter's mail) for realistic world-building.  But otherwise, my characters interact as if they were from the Twenty-First Century.

And nasty, angry, prideful characters who do their best to destroy the happiness of Our Hero or Our Heroine, always get their comeuppance.

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Her Grace feels better after having got that off her chest.  She tries her best not to harbour negative feelings, as they are destructive.  Meanwhile, here is a picture of one of her favouritest feminists:

Yes, this is Patrick Stewart.