What are you chewing on, cat?

This morning as I waited for Their Ladyships to get their acts together, I sat on the couch in the wan hours of dawn and watched the cat play with something.

This is not unusual; he is a cat, after all. His preferences lie with certain objects like ping pong balls (because they roll), hair ties and elastic bands (because they, um... stretch) and My Little Ponies (because he's... a Brony?). He has also been known to chew up Loom Band bracelets and the remains of party balloons. Loves them, actually.

If you may recall from a few weeks ago, His Grace learned how many things are difficult when one is missing a functional thumb.

One of those thing is bathing. Until the graft healed, he had to shower with his entire right hand encased in a plastic bag, taped for waterproofness. Not only did this make his life awkward, but also meant his hand wasn't getting cleaned.

After a couple of weeks he asked his thumb therapist if there was anything he could do about his unwashed hand. The thumb therapist told him that for the purpose of washing his hand (only!!, no full shower or dishwashing or watersports), he could encase his thumb in a condom, securing it with an elastic band.

No problem. Condoms are easy enough to source in Australia, so he procured one and secured it to his thumb in the proscribed manner. He proceeded, much to his relief, to wash the rest of his hand. This was done as needed, and the rest of the time he washed the rest of His Grace, he still bagged up his hand.

The condom was removed, placed in a secure place on the bathroom bench and reused as required. This is one of the only two purposes I know of when it is advised to reuse condoms. (The other being to keep the sand out of the end of your military rifle when at war in the desert.) So yeah, he hung on to that condom.

Back to this morning. The cat is playing with something on the floor. Looked like a hair band, or was it a balloon?

As my morning brain attempted to parse this strange object, he pinned it down with a paw, grabbed a bit, and puuuullled!  Boy, could it stretch, then it snapped back.

Only then did I recognise it.

No, cat, you may not chew on a condom.

Time to run away to the ocean

Last week I had a busy day. It started at 5am and had about a half-dozen things I needed to do that morning before 7am. Then I had a few more things I needed to do before I went to work.

One of those things took me near to the ocean.  As I'm driving along the coast, an urge to stop and visit the beach overwhelmed me.

I pulled over, took off my shoes and socks, rolled up my work uniform trousers, and padded my way down the steps to the sand.

Thus, I escaped reality for ten minutes as I stood in the water and gazed to the horizon.

Hardly anyone was there.

The water was beautiful and glassy.

Sometimes you must simply run away to the beach.

Calm Blue Ocean.

Me at the beach.

My feet in the ocean.

See? Nobody here but me.

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Her Grace understands the need to escape.

Now I wonder...

Nug  me!

Last week when I got paid, I took a brief moment to snatch a few bucks from my paycheque as it whooshed by at supersonic speeds. This, I spent most frivolously on a box of Chicken McNuggets.

While I was waiting for them to fry me up a fresh batch, I found this sitting on an empty table:

Empty ring box from Prouds Jewelers on the table at Macca's.

Yep, that is an empty ring box. In McDonalds.

I have no idea how it got there, but I like its implication.  Feel free to speculate in the comments.

Grandma's Cookin'

Both my grandmothers loved to cook. Each one had signature recipes that were passed down to the rest of us.

These two I'm sharing because I'd forgotten about one, then the other. If I share them now, they won't be forgotten forever.

* * *

My maternal grandmother, Opal Quesenberry (aka Nonnie), was from the American South (Appalachia). Last year (or year before), my daughter read, then watched The Help. She was intrigued by this entirely alien culture. I had to explain how a few things were endemic to Southern culture. She asked about a chocolate pie. That was when I realised I'd been neglectful in a few vital things. "Your great-grandma has a chocolate pie recipe." "Does she? Why didn't I know about it?" It's one thing to let the attitudes of racism die out for the next generation, but one must never forget to pass on the chocolate pie recipe!!

Now, Nonnie's recipe lacks the special ingredient that makes Minnie's pie so special. However, should you feel the need, you could adapt the recipe to include it.

Nonnie loved her flowers.

Here's the recipe in her own hand.

Here, I've translated it for you:

Nonnie's Best Chocolate Pie

3/4 c white sugar

3 T cornstarch (corn flour for you Aussies)

3 T cocoa powder

2 c sweet milk

3 egg yolks. (You can save the whites to make a meringue topping for the pie, or you can save them for the recipe below.)

1/4 c butter (not margarine)

1 T vanilla essence

1 pie crust, blind-baked  (I recommend a traditional flaky Crisco Pie Crust. Aussies: I recommend using Copha or Mastafry in place of Crisco.) 

Sift together sugar, cornstarch and cocoa powder into a double boiler.  Stir in a few tablespoons of your milk to make a paste.  Bean in the egg yolks with a whisk.  Slowly add in the rest of the milk, whisking to ensure there are no lumps.  Cook over low heat in double boiler, whisking regularly to ensure no lumps as mixture thickens.  Once thick, add butter and vanilla and mix in well. Pour into a baked pie crust. Refrigerate at least two hours. Top with meringue or whipped cream.

* * *

My paternal grandmother Beverly Wessman had a cookie jar she kept full of homemade cookies. My favourite were these crunchy, fluffy pink ones. We called them "Jello cookies" in our ignorance. Later I learned they were meringues. Also later, I learned that meringues traditionally did not have chocolate chips in them. Beverly's did.

They're so easy to make. I am flabbergasted that I completely failed to include these delightful little puffs of deliciousness into my daughters' culinary history.  Today I have rectified that, much to their surprise and pleasure.

Beverly, with my Aunt Ann.

ETA: See the comments for a link to Beverly's original recipe (including the story of origin).

Grandma Beverly's Pink Meringue Cookies

3 egg whites

pinch salt

1 package (approx 85g) Strawberry Jello (Aussies: Aeroplane Jelly) (Really, you can do any flavour you wish.)

2/3 c caster sugar

1/2 c chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 120C(240F).  Whip up egg whites and pinch salt until soft peaks form.  Meanwhile, blend Jello and caster sugar together.  While mixer is still whipping, add sugar mix by the spoonful until fully incorporated into egg whites.  Whip a few minute longer until stiff peaks form.  Fold in chocolate chips.  Spoon meringue mixture onto a paper-lined baking tray.  Place tray in oven. Immediately reduce over to 100C(200F).  Bake meringues 90 minutes. Turn off oven, let meringues cool completely in oven.

Meringues are best stored in an airtight container, assuming they last that long. They often don't. Today's batch didn't.

Note: don't go out and buy caster sugar if you don't use it regularly. Caster sugar is often preferred in recipes for its easy dissolv-ability.  You can make your own caster sugar from granulated sugar by putting it in a dry blender and blitzing it for a few seconds, no longer. If you blitz it too long, you end up with powdered sugar.

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Her Grace reminds you to pass on your recipes.

Things One Can't Do with Only One Working Thumb

Actually, his hand looks an awful lot like this,
for the splint he has to wear makes his thumb stick out.

Last month His Grace suffered a hand injury that put his right thumb out of commission for a Very Long Time. This has been a challenge for him, for he is very much a right-handed man (unlike my good self, who is rather ambidextrous).

Thus, His Grace has been quite challenged. As he goes about adjusting to his new life, he regularly encounters things he cannot do because he does not have two thumbs.

You'd be surprised at what one can't do when one doesn't have a working thumb.

Now, some things aren't completely impossible, but sure are rather difficult when one attempts it with only one functional thumb.

This is the list of things His Grace can't do (or finds very difficult) without two working thumbs:

• Tie his shoelaces 
• Button up shirts (Guess who'd been helping him get dressed in the mornings.)
• Completely towel off after a shower
• Pull on thick socks
• Drive a manual vehicle
• Use the pepper grinder
• Remove an omelette from the pan.
• Cut Roma tomatoes or onions
• Certain sexual positions
• Type on a keyboard
• Play the entirety of Für Elise (and not just the noodly part everyone knows)
• Cut a piece of paper with scissors
• Read a hardbound book
• Climb a rope

No doubt we will add to this list as time rolls on.

Things His Grace can't do because it's his right hand:

• Left cuff button
• Fence
• Drive my car (the indicators are on the wrong side for him)
• Sign legal documents

All hail Sir Lefty.

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Okay, with Für Elise, His Grace can't play it even when he has two fully-functional thumbs.