Friday, 3 October 2014

My Contemporary Humour Novel--The Cat Came Back

I outlined but never got more than a chapter or two into this novel. I really like TCCB. I think it has a clever plot and some really good slapstick, but I didn't  l o v e  it enough to complete it. My heart was more into Fantasy and Romance, than contempo comedy. Still, it was a bit of fun.

Desperate for money, college student Sally takes on a cat-sitting job, but not for any old cat. Fluffy was the completely spoiled pet of dying socialite Amanda Harris. Amanda loved Fluffy so much that she left her entire fortune to the cat, much to the chagrin of her grasping relatives.

Can she do that? According to her attorney, absolutely. Also, once Amanda passes on, Sally is guaranteed a job for as long as Fluffy lives--may Fluffy have a very long line, Sally hopes.

Sally's day is shattered when, two days after Amanda's funeral, Fluffy is found dead. In panic she rushes the dead tabby straight to the vet Thomas. Sally's hopes are crushed. But Thomas has a plan: get another cat.  Fluffy was not anything special breed-wise.  Like Sally, Thomas also had a financial interest in Fluffy's long life.

Thus, Fluffy was replaced by Fluffy II. 

Two days later, bailiffs show up to throw Sally out of the house. After all, she can't live there if the cat is dead. "But Fluffy's not dead," she tells the bailiffs, and produces her "proof" in the form of one irate cat. The bailiffs leave, bemused.

It's only then Sally suspects the relatives had killed the original Fluffy. She calls Amanda's attorney with her suspicions. Amanda's attorney, likewise, has a financial interest in a live Fluffy. The attorney doesn't know that this Fluffy is a replacement. He has Thomas the vet ascertain that this is indeed Fluffy, and is satisfied.

A week later, Fluffy II is found dead. Another panicked call to Thomas, who produces Fluffy III. 

Sally grows concerned. Fluffy II was definitely poisoned. She worries that eventually the relatives, eager to get their hands on Fluffy's money, will manage to successfully prove Fluffy's death.

Sally can't exactly go to the police, for that will reveal her complicity in replacing a dead cat. Nevertheless, she ups the security at the house, and does her best to keep Fluffy inside.

For the next few months several more attempts are made on Fluffy's life, some failing, some successful. 

One day, Fluffy goes missing. A window Sally always kept locked is discovered open. Calling upon Thomas once more, she heads out into the neighborhood in hopes of finding Fluffy alive.

Alas, it's too late, in all senses. Sally and Thomas find a dead Fluffy, the victim of a car. The driver had stopped and called the police... because the driver was one of Amanda's relatives. The police are bemused as to why someone called them about a dead cat, until the will is produced.  

Sally is given twenty-four hours to vacate the premises. 

She refuses to back down without a fight. Convinced this is a case of murder she reviews the security footage to discover the relatives entering the house, disarming the alarm and stealing the cat. (They had a key and the alarm code.) To throw Sally off the track, they left a window open. However, they hadn't known about the security cameras, and thus were caught.

Sally and the attorney take the footage to the police, and the relatives are busted. Because Fluffy VIII died under suspicious causes, Amanda's will decreed that all her wealth go to the Thomas the vet's cat shelter. After all, that's where Amanda got the first Fluffy, who had been her most loving companion for the rest of Amanda's life (unlike the rellies).

This clause surprises everyone, including Thomas. As for Sally, Amanda left her enough money to finish school.

Since I may never write this book, I thought I'd share the outline with you so you can enjoy it.

Her Grace has novels she may never write.

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